ATTENTION PLEASE:
DONALD J. TRUMP (BILLIONAIRE, REAL ESTATE TYCOON, 47TH U.S. PRESIDENT. TV PERSONALITY/LITERALLY DODGED A BULLET, SO LET'S HOPE YOU SHOW SOME OF YOUR GRATITUDE HERE BY SUPPORTING MY WILL TO SURVIVE WITH A DONATION, AND CONGRATS ON WINNING THE PRESIDENCY FOR 4 MORE YEARS! NOW HOW ABOUT MORE STIMULUS CHECKS AND FREE HEALTH CARE? THERE ARE STILL WAY TOO MANY POVERTY INCOME LEVEL AND HOMELESS PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY, JACKSONVILLE BEING AMONG THE WORST CITIES. SO WHEN EXACTLY WILL AMERICA BE GREAT AGAIN FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME SHOULD I LIVE SO LONG?),
JERRY SEINFELD (BILLIONAIRE, STAND-UP COMEDIAN, ACTOR, WRITER, FILMMAKER, TV PRODUCER, EMMY, GOLDEN GLOBE WINNER, NET WORTH 1.1 BILLION/LIKE YOU SAY, MOST THINGS DON'T WORK, AND MY DREADFUL SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES LEAVE MUCH TO BE DESIRED. SO PLEASE HELP ME NOT BECOME A STATISTIC BY CLICKING ANY YELLOW DONATE BUTTON ON THE PAGE. YOU ARE SO WELL OFF, I WOULDN'T BE ASKING IF YOU WEREN'T AS PRIVILEGED. I VOW TO BE 1,000% WORTH IT),
HARRISON FORD (ACTOR, PRODUCER, PILOT, AVIATION ADVOCATE, NET WORTH 300 MILLION/AS A HUGE FAN OF STAR WARS AND INDIANA JONES, I WOULD BE MOST GRATEFUL FOR A DONATION OF ANY AMOUNT TO HELP ME BUY A PLACE OF MY OWN. TREAT IT AS A TAX WRITE OFF WHICH I'M SURE WOULDN'T HURT EVEN NOW. JUST CLICK ANY DONATE BUTTON ON THE PAGE, AND PAYPAL ALSO ACCEPTS CREDIT CARDS. MAY THE FORCE BE WITH US, AND OUR BEDS SNAKE FREE AT NIGHT!),
MARK ZUCKERBERG AND PRISCILLA CHAN (BILLIONAIRES, PHILANTHROPISTS, FACEBOOK FOUNDER/IMPLORING YOU TO BUILD A BETTER FUTURE FOR ME BY FACING THE MUSIC AND DONATING, THEN ACCEPT ME AS A FRIEND BEFORE HACKERS STEAL MORE INFO FROM FACEBOOK),
WILLIAM JAMES MURRAY (ICON, COMEDIC GENIUS, ACTOR, SNL ALUMNI, MARK TWAIN PRIZE WINNER, CHARISMATIC FOLK HERO, NET WORTH 180 MILLION/YOU'RE A GREAT HUMAN BEING AND EXCEEDINGLY DOWN TO EARTH, ALWAYS THERE TO PITCH IN WHEN LEAST EXPECTED! I'D ALWAYS TREASURE A "RUN-IN" WITH YOU TOO. BTW I SAW YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS VIDEO MIRAGE, HENCE WHAT'S UP WITH THE "YOU JUST MISSED BILL" REPLY? SHAME YOU DON'T READ YOUR EMAILS PERSONALLY, AND WHY YAHOO WHEN GMAIL IS SO MUCH MORE SECURE? JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'D BE MOST HONORED TO HELP IN ANY CAPACITY I CAN, MOST LIKELY SKILLED AMATEUR, BUT YOU'RE NOT ALONE, SPEAKING OF NEEDING HELP. AFTER NOT SEEING MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, PLEASE READ ABOUT MY PREDICAMENT BELOW, THEN BEING THE DOWN TO EARTH GREAT HUMAN BEING YOU ARE, REMEMBER ME BILL WHEN YOU CAN WITH A TAX DEDUCTIBLE DONATION BY CLICKING ANY PAYPAL DONATE BUTTON ON THE PAGE, OR I CAN EMAIL A PAYPAL MONEY REQUEST INSTEAD FOR WHATEVER AMOUNT YOU SPECIFY TO HELP OUT A FELLOW CITIZEN STRUGGLING WITH HOMELESSNESS AND MS. NEXT, BY SHARING YOUR TOLL-FREE NUMBER WITH ME, I CAN CHECK UP ON YOU FROM TIME TO TIME SINCE YOU'RE SO CLOSE TO ME WITH YOU BEING IN SOUTH CAROLINA BESIDES. I'D EVEN BE WILLING TO MOVE TO YOUR AREA IF YOU COULD USE A COOK'S HELPER OR DISHWASHER AT ONE OF YOUR RESTAURANTS. NEEDLESS TO SAY THAT I'D BE HIGHLY INDEBTED IF YOU CAN HELP ME OUT FOR NOW, AND I'D LIKE TO OFFER A GOD BLESS YOU IN THE MEANWHILE, IN SPITE OF THE FAKE NEWS THAT YOU STATED RELIGION COULD BE THE ENEMY OF HUMANKIND. PERSONALLY HOWEVER, TO EACH THEIR OWN WHERE PEOPLE ARE CONCERNED, BUT I KNOW TO WHOM I'LL BE ACCOUNTING WHEN MY TIME COMES),
BRYAN LEE CRANSTON (ACTOR, FILMMAKER, PHILANTHROPIST, NET WORTH 40 MILLION/LIKE YOU SAY, MONEY ISN'T IMPORTANT, TIME IS. WHILE I'M INDEED FEEL MARGINALIZED BEING HOMELESS, I LIKE TO BELIEVE I MADE A POSITIVE IMPACT EARLIER IN MY CAREER WHEN TIME WAS STILL ON MY SIDE. HENCE, IN ADDITION TO THE ROLLING STONES, A HUGE FAN OF "BREAKING BAD" ALSO. SO PLEASE DONATE SOME OF YOUR UNIMPORTANT MONEY BACK TO ME BEFORE MY TIME IS UP. WOULD GO A LOT FURTHER THAN A 5TH OF DOS HOMBRES MEZCAL SINCE I DON'T DRINK. NOT KNOCKING YOU SINCE YOU ARE THE ONE WHO KNOCKS),
ADAM SANDLER (ACTOR, COMEDIAN, PRODUCER, SCREENWRITER, GRAMMYS, GOLDEN GLOBES, EMMYS NOMINEE, NET WORTH 440 MILLION/FILTHY RICH FOR BEING HUMILIATED SOUNDS LIKE MY CUP OF TEA, INSTEAD OF DIRT POOR AND HOMELESS. HOPING TO FORMULATE SOME GOOD CHEMISTRY IN TERMS OF GETTING MY LIFE BACK TOGETHER. MISSING ONE CRITICAL SUBSTANCE THAT I'M IN SHORT SUPPLY OF. NAMELY CASH. PLEASE MAKE A DEPOSIT NOW TO KICK START MY RECIPE FOR REBUILDING BY CLICKING ANY YELLOW DONATE BUTTON ON THE PAGE OH PAINLESS ONE),
ELON MUSK (BILLIONAIRE AND PHILANTHROPIST/AFTER CONFESSING TO BEING IN A STATE OF SOMETHING LIKE HOMELESSNESS WHILE IN TRUMP'S HOME, I DON'T OWN A PLACE RIGHT NOW, SO PLEASE USE YOUR PAYPAL PROFITS TO INVEST IN MY FUTURE AND HELP ME BY CLICKING ANY DONATE BUTTON ON THE PAGE, IT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO FOR ALL OF THE FRAUDULENT MONEY REQUESTS I'VE BEEN RECEIVING. EVEN THOUGH YOU SOLD OUT, PAYPAL IS STILL YOUR BRAINCHILD AND YOU'RE TECHNICALLY CULPABLE. SO SAVE A LIFE TODAY ELON. NAMELY MINE!),
CHRISTIAN BALE (ACTOR, ACADEMY AWARD, GOLDEN GLOBES WINNER, NET WORTH 120 MILLION/YOUR DONATION BY CLICKING ANY BUTTON ON THE PAGE WOULD BE TAKEN AS YOUR WAY OF SAYING THE WORLD HASN'T ENDED FOR ME. HOPING THIS TRUTH WILL BE GOOD ENOUGH),
RICHARD BLADE (FORMER LOS ANGELES RADIO AIR PERSONALITY},
AMONG THOSE WHO HAVE DONATED TO WORTHY CAUSES,
AND ANYONE ELSE READING THIS WHO WOULD LIKE TO SPREAD MORE LOVE BY BEING A GIVING NEIGHBOR, PLEASE HELP ME BY DONATING TODAY !